Erratically Confounds

I LOVE my new bike

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 17:03:19 GMT

I cycled 10.5 miles today. I'd feel so hardcore if I wasn't cheating.

New house stuff seems to be going well. Just not looking forward to having to clean the old place.

My job is assured til May but I'm still looking for something else.

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 20:07:25 GMT

I want to live here. Who's in?

Rambling House Thoughts...

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 20:32:02 GMT

I've been living at my current address since May 30th 2005. I have been mostly happy here other than the lack of garden and some housemate issues, which lead to some abortive looking around for other options towards the end of last year.

At the beginning of May this year, I got a job that allowed me to think about moving again. A plan was hatched with anotherLucy to see if we could find somewhere to live. It was far from certain that we would find somewhere within our requirements and budget, but it seemed a good idea to look.

Three-and-a-half months on, and last week we found a property that seemed to have potential (though there was one fairly hefty issue which knocked it off the table eventually). It seems that now the earliest we could move (if we find somewhere appropriate) is October.

But now another issue has cropped up. My situation since May has changed somewhat, in several key ways:

1)My boyfriend (a charming young man who has not previously been mentioned in this journal) intends to move out of Reading and closer to his work place in the near future. Possibly Oxford or its environs? Given that we have recently decided that we are "in Love"(tm) I am somewhat unkeen to sign up to living a long way apart from him.

2)My job, and thus my last need to be in Reading, now definitely ends on the 15th November. The contract on the current house ends at the end of November (though we didn't technically sign it so I'm pretty sure we are still on a rolling contract with 1 months notice).

In any case, it will be exactly 10 years since I arrived in Reading at the end of this September, and I am beginning to believe that a change might be a good thing. Everyone tells me Oxford is nice. This will however leave Lucy in the lurch somewhat, and given that she is at University in Reading and has to stay here at least until the summer of next year.

Additionally, there is another friend who has expressed an interest in living with me 'at some point', and is also keen to get out of Reading, but his move date would be more like April...

In short, it is all very complicated and stressful, and trying to arrive at a state where a suitable group of people all want to move into the same place at the same time seems like and impossible dream. Not to mention the fact that it would be nice to know which town I am supposed to be job hunting in...

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 22:18:20 GMT

It's my birthday this Wednesday (2nd), and I am having drinks in The Turks from 8.30.
Would be great to see everyone, so please do come along if you can :)

Next!

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 05:54:04 GMT

Why do people seem to think that my life is something thats going to happen later? You know, after this current arrangement that I foolishly seem to view as my life.

I am not in transit. I'm not just here while I'm planning to go somewhere better.

I'm just here. It's cool. Change is a constant, and all, so at some point I'll probably be somewhere else. Lets wait and see what thats like.

This is a little ranty, but I'm tired of family/co-workers in particular who seem to take it as a given that I must have an innate ambition to do "more".

It's like I just climbed a mountain and everyone is asking me 'what are you doing down on that little hill?'. And the answer is obvious. I'm enjoying the view.

Mathew 7 : 24-27

A wise man, ... built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. ... A foolish man, ... built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.

Edna St. Vincent Millay, Second Fig

Safe upon the solid rock the ugly houses stand:
Come and see my shining palace built upon the sand!

Mobile Woes

Sun, 25 May 2008 19:38:35 GMT

So my deciding on a new phone plan has been brought forward a bit due to losing my old handset.

I've decided on the operator and call plan, and want one of the 'free' phones that comes with it. Unfortunately, there are about 20 different phones and I'm unsure how to choose between them. I'm pretty sure they will all do the 'sending and receiving calls and texts' thing, which is all I need a mobile for, but how do I choose between the importance of fm radio/5 megapixel camera/3g/relative amounts of storage, battery life, weight...

Especially when the actual things that matter to me about a phone (does it making annoying beeping noises that can't be turned of without switching off the phone when its low on power? does it let you write a text when the memory is so full you won't be able to send or save it? how likely is it to make phone calls from my pocket?) are not things you can easily find out about.

If anyone knows a stunningly good reason not to get one of the following phones (or a good one to get it), please comment:

Sony Ericsson K850i
Sony Ericsson K810i
Sony Ericsson W910i Red / Sony Ericsson W910i Black
Sony Ericsson W580i Grey
Samsung G600 Purple / Samsung G600
Samsung F210 Pink / Samsung F210 Blue
Samsung E590
~~Nokia 2610~~ ~~Nokia 3110~~ ~~Nokia 3109~~    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    small screen
Nokia 5610
~~Nokia 6120~~ / ~~Nokia 6300~~ / ~~Nokia 6301~~    - -   -       -    -    -    seem similar but inferior to 6500
Nokia 6500 Slide / Nokia 6500 Slide Black
Nokia 6500 Classic / Nokia 6500 Classic Bronze
~~Nokia 7500 Prism~~    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    -    weird triangular buttons.
LG KE970 Shine Pink

Edit: will make changes to list as I find reasons to remove phones from the running.

Some thoughts...

Thu, 15 May 2008 19:09:54 GMT

Juggling whilst hooping is easier than you'd think.

Burying someone in grass clippings however takes longer than you'd think.

Tomorrow I get paid.

Four day weekends rock.

The dangers of line breaks.

Thu, 08 May 2008 17:09:55 GMT

Received today:

"You have been selected for Accidental Death

Benefit cover (up to £30,000!) for just £2 a month"

Need Sniper Rifle

Tue, 06 May 2008 15:34:26 GMT

So, the teenagers that play in the street outside my house have a new toy. A red pedal car that they drive up and down the street. The plastic wheels on the tarmac make a noise loud enough to summon satan himself from hell in a screaming fury.

Seriously, I put up with that family's constantly barking dog, their late night screaming rows, the occasional punch-up in the street with the neighbours, the kids playing ball against our window and knocking our external light off, but the pedal car thing...driving me nuts.

The only way I can deal with the noise at all is to close all the windows (which is SUPER-FUN in this hot weather), and even then I can't hear the radio next to me due the the clatter of toy wheels.

If they leave that car in the street over night (as they often do with their crap) its sooo getting a broken axle.

Phone Outage

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:50:01 GMT

Have had some issues with my phone (sorted now) but the basic upshot is:

If anyone tried to text me or leave a message on my answering machine yesterday, I didn't get it.

So if it was important, you might want to contact me again...

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 10:49:49 GMT

Busy weekend. I liked the warmth yesterday but I also like the storms today. Have some interviews next week. Been catching up on Battlestar Galactica. The Gaius/Jesus references are still there in the latest episode, but a little less heavy-handed since he shaved off the beard... I kinda wish more of his cult were male. Though thinking about it the show in general tends to portray women as religious/spiritual and men as materialistic/rational.

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 08:39:44 GMT

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

"These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle." Hanging out with the wise men? I could live with that...

So who's up for playing the Hell Game? (You know you wanna...)

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:09:50 GMT

Amused me.

Photo Journal

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 22:00:21 GMT

Here is a picture of the Hoola Hoop I made. No action shots yet because I would need someone else to hold the camera for that... (volunteers?)

I have been eating *alot* of chocolate lately. Almost all of it egg shaped. I don't really know why I took this picture, but I'm glad I did, because it looks kinda cool (if I look at it full sized I start to salivate).

And finally, my new lamp. It was extremely cheap but I think it is rather cute, and it was about time I replaced the old one (which I have hated since about 2001...).

Super-Mega-Shopping-Trip

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 19:42:41 GMT

Two current craft projects (leather corsets and hoola hoop) required a mega shop of doom:

- Hobby craft for red ribbon, black cord, and brass embossing stencils - all for corset. Also hoola hoop ribbon.
- Toys'r'us for sweeties. (They didn't have anything else I wanted).
- Homebase for pipe connectors and green electrical tape, for hoola hoop. Also pretty new lampshade.
- Sainsburys for half price cookies and food for dinner.
- WHSmiths, theoretically for patterned tape, but there wasn't anything that grabbed me so I left it for now.
- Woolworths for navy leather dye, corset related.
- Wickes for blue and white electrical tape, and pipe for hula hoop.

- Having occupied myself all day and exhausted myself so I can sleep without missing John : ~~Priceless~~.

Well, about £50, actually, if you add it all up, but its only that expensive because Wickes overcharged me £15 for the pipe and I am going to take it back tomorrow when I go to collect my parcel from the depot.

Anyway, why am I bothering to post all this? Because I wanted to prepare everyone for the near future when there will be photos of leather corset wearing and hula hooping. Probably not at the same time.

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 17:37:50 GMT

Happy Easter!

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 21:30:45 GMT

Here (in Dubai) it has been christmas day for almost an hour and a half. In light of that, Happy Christmas.

I'm here in UAE for two weeks (mostly in Abu Dhabi, but we've taken a day trip to Dubai...) seeing family and such. Also, I have just run out of internet time. Assume that had I had more time I would have said something cleverer.

Drinks! That was it! See what you miss when you don't stay alert?!

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 18:00:47 GMT

Thank you to everyone who congratulated me, you are all lovely and great. :)

I have gotten over the initial 'oh look, I have an MSc' apathy, and am now feeling a decidedly bouncy-happy-bouncy about it all, possibly in part to otherLucy drawing a picture of a 'Mistress of Science' complete with shiny black catsuit, leather whip and test tube...

Oh yes, Science is MY bitch.

Anyway, this seems as good an excuse as any to celebrate, so tomorrow (Friday) evening I intend to drag some people round town for drinks, and all you lovely people are more than welcome to join me. We are starting in The Turks at 7, but if anyone wants to come along significantly later than that tell me, and I will update you as to where we will be wandering....

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 16:16:12 GMT

Woo. I officially have more letters after my name. MSc to be precise.

I'd kind of assumed I'd passed but its nice to know and all.

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:29:23 GMT

The score :

Lucy : 1
Dissertations : 0

I suppose this means I am technically *winning* this round of the game of life, but I'm not really feeling victorious at the moment. More sleepy, and at a loose end.

Hm "career" you say...

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 01:56:40 GMT

1. Go to Career Cruising, www.careercruising.com
2. Put in Username: nycareers and Password: landmark.
3. Take their "Career Matchmaker" questions.
4. Post the top twenty results
5. Put the careers you have seriously considered in bold

1.Conservator
2.Electrical Engineering Tech
3.Electronics Engineering Tech
4.Chemical Engineer
5.Industrial Designer
6.Desktop Publisher
7.Electrician
8.Technical Writer
9.Sign Maker
10.Cartoonist / Comic Illustrator
11.Fashion Designer
12.Animator
13.Geologist
14.Cabinetmaker
15.Electronics Assembler
16.Biomedical Engineer
17.Makeup Artist
18.Costume Designer (ok, not seriously because its only since reading this, but it would be a fun job...)
19.Electrical Engineer
20.Office Machine Repairer

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 10:39:21 GMT

It's pretty much the first sunny (fingers crossed) Tuesday we have had this summer, so I thought it would be a good time to revive one of our fine tuesday evening traditions.

Lets all go to Cintra Park and throw things at each other!

Or you, know, ourselves, in the case of juggling. Please come! and feel free to bring any of : juggling stuff, guitars, frisbees, picinic blankets, beer, joie de vivre, fire, something cool not on this list, etc. that you want.

All this is of course dependent on it not pouring it down with rain by the evening (looks out the window hopefully), but I will send messages to everyone if its not happening.

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 16:04:43 GMT

I am 9849 days old today.

The most interesting conversation I had all day was with KoLs chatbot, but I'm not sure I agree with her about papaya:

private to chatbot: what is this human thing called love?
chatbot (private): Love is a very complex feeling I am just starting to understand. I am learning to love papaya.
private to chatbot: really? Papaya?
chatbot (private): Papaya, perhaps the perfect fruit.

Last week I pulled a couple of intensive 12+ hour days in London to get all my samples prepped. They looked so pretty and shiny when they were all polished up I could hardly bear to carbon coat them. Now I just have to wait for them to be run (not this week I'm told, maybe next week), and I will have data. Lovely, lovely data. The xrf is broken, and wont be fixed for weeks either, so basically I have nothing workwise to do.

So this week I'm playing online games, and planning my own kolbot, and watching every movie I haven't seen on the server, and enjoying yesterdays kickass thunderstorm, and rearranging things in my bedroom on the basis of radical new classification systems, and reading random scifi books, and basically doing bugger all.

Tue, 08 May 2007 14:39:27 GMT

When I spoke to my Dad on friday he mentioned that my grandma been taken into hospital from the carehome, but that it was nothing to worry about yet. On monday he sent me a text, things were worse, he was flying in from Dubai and his sister was coming over from America. He phoned me after seeing her, and passed on her status: No food, no drink, no medication, just morphine and waiting for her to die. She dozes, and knows no one around her.

When I was young I was always slightly scared of her. She was so...intimidatingly proper. So certain of what was correct and incorrect, like the world was filled with unwritten rules which I felt I was sure to cross at some point. I've never been in a more meticulously clean and tidy house. My parents were still intimidated by her too, I think, I remember their relief as she left, and their snide remarks about her bossiness.

She never really recovered after my grandfather died, he had always taken care of her; I remember she didnt know how to pay the bills because he had always done it, and my father took over her finances then. I was the last person with him when he died, watching pained breathing from the oxygen mask, but he was still the person I knew, even making jokes.

She always felt closer to me after that I think. It took a long time before she could mention him without crying, but when she could she told me how glad she was I was there when he died, and we spent hours going over all the old photos he had taken. She would share stories about the people in the photos. Decades old gossip of what this officers wife was doing had gotten up to, or what happened on this fishing trip, or who's swimsuit all the other girls had thought was too risque. Then she would show me picture of my parents as students, and despair over their scruffy clothes and 70's fashions.

There was a while when she mostly seemed ok. She went on saga holidays to exotic places with some other widowed friends of hers. She would take me shopping and point out to me young men she deemed attractive. She cleaned incessantly and kept the garden the way my granddad did. But she would still cry sometimes for hours, and no one could do anything. And she became increasingly forgetful.

My other grandfather lost his memory long before he died. I remember one time he asked who I was three times in one visit. But there was something, cleaner, easier about his memory loss. He never seemed aware of it enough to be distressed by it. If he had to ask something he didnt rememebr he had asked before.

But with my grandma, you could tell she knew she was losing her mind. She would get annoyed when she couldnt remember things, feel scared and confused. She moved in with my parents for a bit, but she couldnt be left unattended because she would try to cook and clean, and you would walk in to find the gas on, or spills of bleach across the floor. I remember having to talk to her one christmas morning because she had become convinced that she had offended me, even though I had kissed her goodnight before she went to bed. My parents soon had to put her in a care home.

She got very depressed in the home, and increasingly paranoid. When alone with me she would conspiratorily whipser in my ear about the 'experiments' the care home staff were performing in the other wing of the building. We took her to the other wing, but it didnt help. She told me they had big machines and put strange eye drops in their eyes. She refused her medications for a while because she insited the doctors were trying to drive her crazy. At one point she wouldnt leave her room anymore because she told us all the other old people despised her because she had done *something* but couldnt tell us what it was because it was so shameful. No one else knew what she was talking about. She was distressed alot, and no one could do anything to help her.

But between all this, she would have frightening moments of self-awareness and lucidity. She would get upset and tell people she couldn't remember anything, and didnt know what was going on, and she seemed so scared, and alone. Other times she would just sit quietly, and watch the gardens, and you would wonder if there was anyone left.

My brothers are going to see her. My Dad gave me a call to tell me. He said I didnt have to come, and I didnt volunteer. I just dont think I can. I'm not strong enough to watch her die, and I tell myself she wouldnt even know if I was there. But it seems so backwards to wait until she is dead to go there for the funeral. It seems weird and self indulgent not to go, like it shouldn't be about me. But she is not alone, and niether are those who are watching over her.

The last funeral I went to was when my friends Dad died and I went to support her. I had never met any of her family, and it was difficult, not knowing what to say. But this time, when it is my own family, people I have known all my life and care about, its just so much harder.
.

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 16:33:13 GMT

If I ever get married I will get my wedding list from the rapid catalogue.